Telling the truth

To tell you the truth, I don’t know what «the truth» is. It might be something for me and something different – even totally different – for you.

To tell you the truth, I don’t care that much about the Truth. Write something with big letters and I get angry and, so to say, contrary.

Is this 2006 self portrait of mine, the truth? (since, let’s face it, almost all we are interested in is about us, our family, our opinions, our something...) Well, I would tell you that it was, somehow, truthfull, at the moment I did paint it. That angry little fellow, with visible (and much more ferocious teeth that the real, dangling, ones…) was me, too…


It is the truth, now? No way! For once, my teeth are dangling much more (no dental plan for poor artists) and I’m not that angry any more… I’ve accepted a lot of things: that I will die, too, along with my parents, my children, wife etc. No big deal. That I’m no Van Gogh – I never really believed I was something like Vincent because nobody IS somebody else… I accepted even that – if you are to believe some contemporary testimonies of some young French dandy – maybe Vincent was also the poor, lame guy, jerking off in the bushes, looking at what some more apt and more , maybe, lucky, fellows were doing in Arles’ parks, with their girlfriends…

I think you can be both: a sad jerkoff and a genius. One thing doesn’t eliminate the possibility of the other… Francois Villon was probably a cut-throat bandit AND one of the greatest POETS in French. And were Rimbaud or Verlaine better?

This too, doesn’t really matter. Just as it doesn’t matter much all this enourmous verbal diarrheea called Internet (don’t blame me! I just saw Untraceable, the movie with Diane Lane as a FBI agent trying to catch the Internet Killer; but it wasn`t really him who killed – he just made it possible – the real killer were guys like me and you (female guys included, of course) whom did opened the Killwithme site…)

To tell you the truth, I don’t know very much who I am anymore…what I will become… or what anyone else is or will become… Things aren’t looking too good for any of us…

But then: sometimes the sun is shining, the air – at least here in Quebec, where I live – is still respirable and sweet. Squirrels make a fuss every time temperature is lower than minus 5 Celsius. A skunk – for which I feel a irrepresible amitie – friendship (please! Do not psychanalise me and my skunks liking!) passes almost every night before my window. Sometimes, we look at each other and I try to convey to  him (or her) my sympathy. It seems to work since he (or she) did not, even once, rise his (or hers) tail…

And, for no reason at all, I’m happy. But then again: why do we need a reason to be happy?

I know I will continue to draw and to paint, maybe to write too. Because it gives me pleasure. (Bloody epicurean!) Maybe I will even finish my novel called Avatars, I do write in French for some time… Who knows? I might even win the bloody lottery tonight. No big deal there, either… I would  just gain some more latitude to travel and do things…

Lao-Tsu, more than 2500 years ago said (I thinkthey say...)  some very wise  things (somewhat obscure, although…).

One of them was that: “Those who know do not talk; those who talk, do not know.”
Well then, I’ve just proved to you I do not know, eh? (I adore this canadian “eh”! Just like I adore, without knowing very well why, the skunks…)


9 responses to “Telling the truth

  1. Mihail Medrea

    DaNu_le, la drept vorbind, adevarul e o notiune atat de abstracta si de vasta, incat ar fi bine sa mai si tacem despre el… (cum spunea/scria candva despre pace, daca nu ma insel, un student, pe atunci care locuia pe str. Negoi, la nr. 76C…)

    In alta ordine de idei, iata si adresa site-ului unde poate fi accesata publicatia on-line “acum” (…e acum…)

  2. Tantalaul ala de care vorbesti, draga Mihail, vorbea mai curand despre Patriotism, daca-mi amintesc io bine… Nu e acelasi lucru…

    Dar ca sa te edifici, cand l-am citat pe Lao Tsu, traducerea ar fi: Cei care stiu nu spun. cei care spun nu stiu. Si ziceam ca e evident ca eu nu stiu. Inca. asa ce vezi… Ma tem ca n-am energia necesara ca sa traduc posturile mele – rau scrise in engleza – in posturi rau scrise si in romaneste… Poate ca ar fi mai prudent sa ma limitez la a reproduce picturile pe care, rar, le mai fac…Mai vorbim…

  3. Danu

    Great painting! Someday i may have the courage to attempt a self-portrait. Never tried…

    Sounds like many emotions are vying for your attention these days, both positive and negative. Probably will lead to some interesting art! At least we always have that…

  4. Mihail Medrea

    Draga Dane, adevarul e ca voiam sa te zgandar un pic, ca sa iesi din starea asta de blegeala (pardon, dezamagire) in care esti de la o vreme. N-am reusit decat sa-ti starnesc amaraciune. Drept pentru care iti cer iertare…

  5. I sure hope to see your self portrait, Bob! And I sure hope you are right (you usually are) about the interesting art which will result. Who knows?

  6. Unde vezi tu amaraciune mai Mihail? Sunt unii care-mi starnesc amaraciune dar tu nu esti printre ei, MM ! (stii, desigur cine mai avea initialele astea… am revazut de curand The Misfits, unul dintre ultimele ei filme…) Daca vrei sa ma zgandari roaga-te sa castig macar 2-3 mii la loto sa pot veni in Ro… atunci vom gasi noi ceva sa ne zgandare…mergem la curve…vedem noi…

  7. Mihail Medrea

    F. bine, sa fie cum vrei tu, si dupa aia om vedea ce se mai intampla…

  8. Danu

    Great painting, I do like it!

    On the contrary, truth in reality can only mean one thing, but most times truths are not excepted,… being societies biggest problems. This goes all the way back to Ponchos Pilot as far as some go.

    The truth is, I do believe I know what truth is. It might be something different to you, and also different to the MFA experts, but that’s just it, something different – even totally different –

    To tell you the truth, I do care about truth. I Write things sometimes getting very angry with people who assume supposed truths in this world are real,… but on the contrary,… supposed truths are mostly nothing but deceitful lies.

  9. Glad you like the painting! See my most recent poist, Caricature of the wise man and you`ll find some more things about the truth…

    Truth is what you believe it`s truth…Gregg Braden has a great (and very interesting book) about the Spontaneous Healing of Beliefs…

    It`s kind of useless to be angry with people…they won`t change like that… Accept them and maybe, just maybe, they change… or take your opinion (=your truth) into consideration… Now I’m talking too wise…

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